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Reviewed by Joseph, 2008-02-12
Categories: Reality, Teens, Hardcore, Videos, Movies
Visit Cable Guy Sex
| Review summary: Cable Guy Sex is a classic reality site based on the cable guy plugging in more than just the TV cable. So far there's 7 complete scenes divided into 3 parts each. All movies are available in true - but a bit pixelated - high definition. A number of similar bonus sites are included. |
Cable Guy Sex has the least original premise for a porn site, like, ever. What, was the domain www.pizzadeliveryboyintercourse.com already taken or something? Well, in case you’re legally brain-dead (if that’s the case, how are you reading this?!) and haven’t figured out the premise of this site yet, I’ll go ahead and tell it to you: Cable Guy Sex is about cable guys who fuck their beautiful female customers in lieu of actually fixing their cable for them. Innovative, no? No. Not at all. Anyway, the webmasters instruct you to “watch [their] team of experts plug into the hottest pussies, asses and mouths you have ever seen. [These experts] are even known to fix your cable from time to time.” LOL! Well, these guys may not be inventive, but they’re certainly good for a cheap laugh. But is Cable Guy Sex good for anything else, like, say, a boner or two? Let us find out.
Unlike the rough seas of love, Cable Guy Sex is incredibly easy to navigate. The members area clearly displays the latest weekly update, a smattering of past updates, links and updates for many, many bonus sites and, finally, advertisements, just the way you like ‘em, pal. All of these destinations (as well as links to high-resolution photos, live cams, adult personals and high definition videos) can be accessed from a convenient menu bar at the top of every page. Looking for customer service? You’ll find those links in a menu bar at the bottom of each page. There’s also a nifty little dropdown menu at the top of each page that gives you access to every bonus site with a single click (more about the bonus sites later).
Currently, there are twenty-two movies on Cable Guy Sex. Each episode is cut up into three movies, so, really, there are only seven full-length episodes on the site. Each movie can be streamed or downloaded in three formats: High Definition, Standard (Windows Media) and QuickTime. The quality of these videos, which are presented in 1280x720 widescreen, is pretty good (they are high definition, after all) although rather disappointingly they seem a bit pixelated at their natural size. The videos take a couple minutes to buffer, but the wait isn’t too intolerable. You can also go full screen.
All the movies are saddled with some kind of pointless and predictable story, you know, the cable guy catches a girl masturbating in her bedroom and instead of calling the police, the girl fucks him. Yawn. Not surprisingly, the acting in these movies is downright horrible. Oh, you’re not looking at porn for the acting? Pardon me.
A gallery of high-resolution photos accompanies each video on Cable Guy Sex. There is an average of one hundred and fifty photos in each gallery. The quality of these photos, which can be downloaded one at a time, is quite impressive, far more impressive than the acting chops of those being photographed.
Sadly, there isn’t a lot of content on Cable Guy Sex at the present time. Shucks. But don’t fret! Members of this site get access to a hell of a lot of bonus sites — we’re talking twenty-nine bonus sites in the same network (thirteen high definition sites, including Anal Hell, Ebony Addiction and Simple Fucks, seven solo girl sites and nine reality sites, including Super Twink and Pimp 4 a Day), twelve reality feeds (She Likes It Big, etc. You’ve probably seen all of these ones before…) and twenty-five plug-ins. All of these bonus sites cover a huge variety of niches. Not too shabby.
Okay, so Cable Guy Sex isn’t the most original porn site on the planet, but who cares? The content is high quality and, more importantly, you get a shit-ton of bonus sites with your membership, so who gives a good goddamn if this site lacks imagination? Imagination is overrated anyway. Hey, I wouldn’t even be looking at porn while I masturbated if I wanted to use my imagination… I mean, really. Summing up, Cable Guy Sex is an adequate porn site that lacks originally and exclusive material (at press time anyway) but not bonus content.
3 day trial -- $1.85, recurring at $39.98 monthly
1 Month Membership -- $29.99, recurring at $29.99 monthly
Check and credit card are accepted forms of payment. Epoch.com/PriceCommu is the designated Payment Processor for www.cableguysex.com.
Preview gallery: Check out the free preview pictures provided by Cable Guy Sex
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